nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
