dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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