but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
