You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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