first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
