Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
