I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The air was thick with penises
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
