So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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