If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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