She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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