you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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