at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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