My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
