what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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