just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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