When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
