Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
