I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
