I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
