My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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