"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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