clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
smell my finger.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
