New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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