There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
