He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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