so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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