I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Two words: nipple clamps
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