Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
