Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
