Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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