Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
