whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
