Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
