im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My feet surprised me
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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