don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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