Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
