i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
