what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
