So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
is wine microwaveable?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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