Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
well you can't waste a boner
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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