I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
