I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
