There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
