Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
