honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
