Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
