I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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