shes about as inviting as chlamydia
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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