school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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