Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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