She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
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Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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