thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
