I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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