Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
