I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
