I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
