On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
