I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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