That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
